MY CI STORY

Cat-napping

2009-12-04T16:06:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I find it difficult to fall asleep for a nap because the clocks in the living room are ticking "too loudly."

It's a great CI moment, but the noise is SO hard to ignore: TICK - TICK - TICK - TICK - TICK...

Oh, well. :)

(The reasons why I sometimes don't take my CI processor off when I nap vary - i.e., I'm expecting a phone call.)

Sweet dreams...

2009-07-26T12:07:00.001-04:00

As I'm laying in bed waiting for hubby to come home, I hear the front door open, the lights click on in the living room and his voice, "I'll be there in a few minutes...can you wait for me?"

I respond, "Of course I can...take your time."

What's so special about this exchange, you ask? Well, it's nice to be able to communicate like this across "long" distances -- an entire condo-length away!

Patting myself on the back...

2009-07-06T20:33:00.003-04:00

I had a great CI moment last night. Actually, it was more like an hour-and-a-half long CI moment...

I was watching an old Czechoslovakian movie w/ my hubby. The actors spoke Czech (obviously), but the only subtitles available were in English. Sooo since I speak Czech, I plugged my CI into the television to hear the dialogue AND I turned on the English subtitles *just in case* I didn't catch something.

It took some getting used to, but because I was able to hear the actors speaking, the reading of the subtitles (captioning, in a sense) flowed smoothly along.

Cool, huh?

:-D

[Side note: Hubby & I were born in the Czech Republic, therefore, we speak Czech fluently.]

Hiatus

2009-06-23T16:39:00.001-04:00

I was away on vacation for a good part of June (and was super-busy @ work before I left), which is why my posts have been sparse...

I have some tid-bits to report & will do so as soon my head stops spinning!

A 'New' Sound

2009-05-21T09:57:00.000-04:00

Hubby & I were driving yesterday evening in my car with the sun-roof open. As we're exiting our condo development, I hear a "whump-whump-whump" sound. I look up out of the roof, don't see anything, and start to worry that something is wrong with my car. (I'm a girl without a clue when it comes to car troubles.)

"What is that noise?" I ask my husband.

He looks up & says, "That's a helicopter."

It was quite a unique sound because it seemed muffled, but close by. Turns out it was a LOUD helicopter, FAR AWAY in the sky.

Cool!

:-D

I'm the Only One

2009-05-14T14:58:00.001-04:00

Just recognized Melissa Etheridge on the radio...yes, her voice is well-known & easy to "spot" but it took *ME* -- with my CI -- a split-second to figure out who it was.

Yay, me!!!

:-D

Clarification

2009-04-20T20:21:00.002-04:00

I wanted to clarify something for all you readers out there...

My CI processor is almost always set at the lowest volume possible and I have it switched to the "whisper" setting about 85% of the time. Hence the reason I hear all sorts of random sounds/noises all the time.

If my posts sound like I'm complaining, that is not my intention AT ALL. Just like a normal-hearing person, sometimes I notice different sounds on different days... and just like a normal-hearing person, sometimes the sounds "bother" me more.

Regardless, I am more than grateful that I have such a powerful CI and would not change a thing about it!

Grrr.

2009-04-19T19:19:00.002-04:00

I wish my laptop fan wasn't running so loudly. Having to listen to that incessant hum gets really annoying after a while.

Yes, I'm in a bad mood, which isn't being helped by the fact that my CI works so well!

<sigh>

Sarah

2009-04-13T19:33:00.002-04:00

I was driving home tonight & had the radio tuned to 102.7FM only because NPR stops broadcasting news at 7pm.

Well, it's a good thing I did this because it allowed me to have a lovely CI moment: I recognized Sarah McLachlan's "In the Arms of an Angel" within *SECONDS* of it first playing!

I was proud of myself, if I may say so.

:o}

Tick-tock whoosh bzzz

2009-03-06T14:06:00.000-05:00

Things I've been hearing at an increasing rate:

1. The ticking of the clock on the wall...wow, it's loud.

2. Cars whizzing by outside...people don't get speed limits.

3. The fan in my computer...it keeps overheating, so maybe that's why I hear it so much.

It sure is a noisy world!

}:-O

Still Alive

2009-03-03T23:13:00.001-05:00

In case anyone is wondering, I'll be posting some updates shortly.

Sorry for the lag in posts -- it's been SUPER hectic @ work the last few weeks...

Thanks for your patience!

Four Years Ago Today...

2009-02-07T00:12:00.003-05:00

...my cochlear implant processor was first activated!

I can't *believe* it has already been four years... wow.

Granted, it feels like I've been hearing for decades now, but every single day I continue to hear something new... STILL.

For those of you who haven't been reading this blog from the very beginning, here is the post that started it all: (The Day After) Hook-Up Day

Thank you, Dr. Downey, for a surgery well-done...

...thank you, Judy, for your constant support over the years...

...and thank you, to all my friends and family, for your kindness and patience during my most trying (and exciting) times!

It's a Noisy World

2009-01-25T13:23:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I think I hear too much.

Case in point: the humming of the refrigerator.

*OR* the dripping of water in the kitchen sink from overflowing dishes.

Ooooorrr the subtle chirp-chirping of our parakeets after they've had their breakfast.

There are sounds aplenty for me to hear, even if I'd rather get some peace-and-quiet sometimes!

Heh.

Panera Bread

2009-01-21T23:03:00.000-05:00

I overheard a conversation while out to lunch w/ hubby today:

"Blah blah blah... something-something refrigerator... Blah blah blah... at the library... blah blah blah... something-something medical problems... blah blah blah..."

It made no sense whatsoever because I wasn't trying to listen in, but those are some of the words I recognized.

A CI Moment this "little" is actually *HUGE* for me because I normally have to concentrate & listen real hard if I actually want to eavesdrop.

But today? It just happened!

:-D

2008-12-20T15:28:00.002-05:00

I found this really informative article online today...

It's on the web site "Interesting Thing of the Day" and I highly recommend it for people who have ANY questions about Cochlear Implants.

Enjoy!

Trickling...?

2008-12-19T11:42:00.001-05:00

While perusing the Christmas Tree Shoppes last night (a *great* place, by the way), I heard what sounded like water trickling. When I looked around & didn't see anything, I figured I was having a CI moment in my head.

Then the sound started again -- like a slow stream of water, dribbling between pepples. I thought that maybe it was one of those doohickeys that people have in their offices. You know, that bowl of rocks that gets plugged in so the water drips around them.

But NOPE! That's not what it was.

The sound was starting to drive me batty, so I stood there all alert, waiting for the trickle again...

And then I saw the source: a shopping cart! The wheels of the cart on the store's tile floor were making the liquid dribbling sound.

It was the weirdest thing, but I felt better that I wasn't going crazy... not yet, anyway!

:-P

Vibrating Tea?

2008-12-10T00:22:00.001-05:00

When I was making myself a cup of tea this weekend, I noticed that a strange buzzing sound was coming from the mug after I poured in the hot water. I didn't think anything of it (maybe that's the sound it's supposed to make?) & forgot about it.

Well, hubby just approached me with a freshly brewed cup of tea and said, "Listen to this!"

Before I even tilted my CI towards the mug, I asked, "Let me guess -- the tea is vibrating."

His eyes bulged & he said, "Yeah! What's up with that?!" I, of course, had NO idea & neither did hubby.

On the one hand, I was relieved that this buzzing/vibrating tea sound wasn't in my head, but on the other hand, I was confused because not even my perfect-hearing husband could figure it out.

Any suggestions out there?

I hope out tea cups aren't radioactive or anything!

Bubbly!

2008-11-30T23:32:00.001-05:00

Hubby & I were having a glass of champagne to "celebrate" the end of a nice 4-day weekend.....

When I poured the fizzy drink into the glasses, the sound was so whimsical and delightful!

I stood there a few seconds longer just to hear the lovely sound the champagne was making as it bubbled towards the top of the glass.

"How cute!" I thought, before I gladly consumed said noisy beverage. Who knew alcohol could be so entertaining with a CI!

;-)

Sometimes...

2008-11-21T00:07:00.002-05:00

...I wish I didn't hear so well.

There are noises I don't really *need* to hear:

- the fan blowing in my laptop as it cools off;
- my co-worker sniffling constantly not realizing she JUST. HAS. TO. BLOW. HER. NOSE!
- family members farting;
- my neighbor downstairs blasting her radio w/ Polka music.

But, then again, I guess these sounds aren't all that bad...

Naked!

2008-11-14T07:57:00.000-05:00

I'm on my way 2 work on this drizzly Friday morning...and my hair is pulled back into a twist & clipped away from my face.

And...

MY EARS ARE SHOWING!

I haven't worn a hearing aid in my right ear for a few months now (it broke & I've been too lazy 2 get it repaired).

BUT!!!

My left ear with my CI processor is exposed in all its vulnerability for all the world 2 see. If you look closely enough, you can see the thin cable that leads 2 the magnet that is attached 2 my head underneath my hair.

I *never* wear my hair back because I am EXTREMELY. SELF. CONSCIOUS. about my ear(s) being "naked." Being the neurotic person I am, I assume everyone will stare at me, at my head, at my ear & at the magnet. The horror!

What's the worst thing that can happen? If people stare (without saying anything), I will TRY 2 ignore them. If they ask, I'll proudly declare, "It's a cochlear implant!" :-D

The reason I chose 2 blog about this is so I don't chicken out & take my hair down. Besides, I didn't wash it this morning, so...yuck.

Wish me luck.

What's that sound?

2008-10-25T16:24:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting in my living room, watching TV & knitting a scarf when I hear this constant "whooshing" noise. It ebbs & flows, very quietly & then stops. I look around all confused: what could it be?

*The neighbor downstairs vacuuming? Nah.

*The baseboard heating up in our condo? Nope.

*The dishwasher washing the dishes? Not possible -- it's not running.

Then I turn around & look out the window & see it: THE RAIN! It's pouring outside & the wind is battering the rain against the windows.

THAT is the sound I've been hearing all afternoon? Wow. Mother Nature sure can unleash her fury when she wants to!

Hi! Ba ba! Ma! Huh?

2008-10-18T23:08:00.002-04:00

i just had the most wonderful day today visiting some friends whom have i haven't seen in YEARS and am still floating from all the love and happiness they shared with me...

[...happy sigh...]

aaanyway, one of the CI moments i had today was when their ADORABLE daughter was babbling and chatting and being all sorts of talkative. amazingly, she's only 13 months old and she's already saying simple words and making a lot of consonant sounds. naturally, this really piqued my auditory interest.

AND even though i was having a tough time understanding what she was saying (which apparently is normal when it's not your own baby you're listening to), the fact that i HEARD her was incredible... and quite entertaining!

thank you, B & L, for letting me experience your precious daughter and for patiently "translating" her words for me...

i LOVE you guys!!!

:)

Chirping!

2008-10-18T00:02:00.004-04:00

THIS is what makes me happy in the morning:

On the left: Kiki (the boy); Zazu (the girl) is on the right.

(BONUS: A video clip of my parakeets devouring some millet spray.)

Lost Advertising

2008-10-16T23:07:00.000-04:00

Whenever there is a commercial on TV that isn't close-captioned, I feel "gipped" (for lack of a better word).....

I'm not sure how advertisers decide if/when to provide captioning with their commercials, but when they don't, they must lose out on thousands (maybe millions?) of Deaf & hard of hearing people who may benefit from the product they're trying to sell.

Wouldn't it make more sense to shell out the extra $ for closed-captioning with the hope of earning more $ when a larger demographic can read the said captioning???

Or am I over-reacting here?

I know I am fortunate enough to sometimes be able to hear what is being said on television & don't need to always read the captions, but what about the people who can't?

Just some food for thought.....

I love NPR except when...

2008-10-13T09:25:00.002-04:00

...I can't understand the people talking. You're probably thinking, "duh!" right?

Well, what I mean is when the program is broadcast from the BBC or some european dignitary is talking or even when a foreign reporter is adding to the story, I have the toughest time making out what they're saying.

Heavy accents are difficult for me to follow. Maybe my hearing has nothing to do with that...?

Anyone else (hearing or not) have this "problem" with accents?

Comments are welcome!

ShopRite CI Moment

2008-10-11T14:26:00.000-04:00

Last night I went grocery shopping & while I was standing in the rice/beans isle, one of my all-time favorite songs started playing over the loudspeakers: Natalie Merchant's "Wonder."

The best part? I recognized the tune within SECONDS & was so delighted that I stood there singing along to it until the song finished playing...

I must've looked pretty silly just standing there, but I didn't care... It felt 'wonder'ful!

:-D

1st attempt @ this mobile update thingy

2008-10-11T13:26:00.000-04:00

My CI continues 2 be wonderfully amazing.

I shall post actual CI moments shortly.

Thanks for all ur patience!

:-)

Mobile Updates

2008-10-11T01:26:00.002-04:00

since i've been so busy lately, i decided that it might be more convenient to update this blog via text-messaging...

for those of you who have been following My CI Story with such loyalty all these years, i will do my best to provide more frequent updates.

welcome back!

=o]

WHOOOSSHHH! and Pop-pop... poppity-pop... pop!

2007-12-08T00:16:00.000-05:00

two "new" sounds i've discovered recently:

the pumping of the hydraulics on a NJ Transit bus as we're driving next to it;

the miniature soap bubbles bursting at the bottom of the bathroom sink after i've washed my hands.

really cool stuff.

=o]

The future of hearing aids? Hmmm...

2007-12-08T00:07:00.000-05:00

i happened upon this interesting article on the Healthy Hearing website:

Red, Red Wine*

2007-11-18T23:29:00.000-05:00

one of the best things about having my CI for so long (it will be THREE years on Feb. 7th!) is that i recognize songs more often. at the beginning, i didn't trust my instincts much because i wasn't used to actually experiencing it. something like, "ooh, turn up the radio... i love that song! Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's is great..." never happened to me. unless i heard something OBVIOUS like Madonna or Bon Jovi, i wouldn't have a clue what was playing.

but now? it's totally different.

these days, when i recognize a song, i'm not afraid to speak out and say what i think it is or that i enjoy it. saying, "i can't lip-read the radio" is not my mantra anymore. i can actually enjoy songs and feel confident about knowing what i'm listening to.

this is not an earth-shattering revelation, i know... but it's something i've had a chance to appreciate more often. i notice that hearing people take it for granted when they can sing along to songs on the radio like it's the most normal thing to do. for me it's a lot cooler than that!

*the title is in reference to the song by UB40 that i just heard tonight. i could tell what it was literally within seconds... and it was AWESOME!

Guess who...

2007-11-08T23:23:00.000-05:00

yes, i'm alive -- and doing quite well, thank you.

life has been SO hectic lately, i'm lucky i find time to breathe.

my cochlear implant has been doing wonders for me and i hear just as great, if not better.

although i'm LONG overdue for my "annual" tune-up, i haven't gotten around to scheduling one yet (sorry, Judy!).

my friend dani j has inspired me to dust off the cobwebs and put something together... SOON.

in the meantime, enjoy what's been posted here for the last (almost) 3 years.

and stay tuned!

Fascinating Video

2006-11-28T19:01:00.000-05:00

i found this wonderful video clip online about one person's cochlear implant experience.

i've never heard of Michael Chorost (a science writer), but now i know that he has a cochlear implant...

this is his story: "Electronic Listener"

p.s. i am scheduled to meet with my audiologist this week for a MAPping session... and i promise to keep you all posted!

Quick Update

2006-08-08T22:29:00.000-04:00

i know i haven't been around for a while, but things have been going really well. i am due for my annual MAPping session this month, so i'll have a bigger (and better!) update to post real soon.

BUT the main reason i'm writing now is to bring attention to the following story: Former Miss America Gets Miracle Ear Implant

i am so jealous and wish this were me. hopefully, one day, it will be possible.....

Where is that sound coming from?

2006-06-07T22:28:00.000-04:00

one night, after work, i was locking up the office when i heard people talking. i was there alone, so at first it startled me. when i realized that nobody else was there (it was 9:30pm on a Wednesday night, after all), i spent some time searching for the source of the sound.

well... there are 2 radios in the office -- one is by the front desk and one is in the back room where the charts are stored. both radios were turned off, so they definitely weren't the source of the sound i was hearing.

i was getting really frustrated. usually i'm lazy and just ask someone (with "better" ears) to tell me what direction noises are coming from and what exactly i'm hearing. obviously, this was not an option, being that i was all alone.

so.

i turned up the volume on my CI and LISTENED. VERY. CLOSELY. i walked around the office very slowly and focused as hard as i could when..... BAM! there it was: the television in the waiting room.

you're probably thinking, "couldn't she just see the t.v. playing? i mean, duh." believe it or not, the screen wasn't working. for some reason, the t.v. screen was black (maybe a screen saver-type thing was activated?), yet the sound was still coming through. so i shut off the television, all sorts of pleased with myself.

i know it's not that big of a deal, but these days my CI moments are few and far between.

ACTUALLY... let me rephrase that: my CI moments happen every day, but i notice them less and less. i guess as time passes, i take them for granted, which i know i shouldn't. sooo... it's random sounds from a mysterious t.v. that remind me every so often that, HEY, I CAN HEAR!

I Am Not Alone...

2006-04-09T10:48:00.000-04:00

i found this on a web site called "PostSecret" and just had to share it with my readers:

this is EXACTLY how i felt before i got my cochlear implant -- the image speaks for itself.

the ironic thing is that even though i hear so well today, i sometimes still feel like that poor little monkey. the reason? people think i hear everything now and don't bother speaking up, clarifying or repeating things for me. BUT i am not afraid to tell them this... and i encourage everyone else to do the same. no matter how well you hear (or not), NEVER BE AFRAID to let people know if you didn't catch something. you miss out on a lot in life if you don't fight for yourself!

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

2006-03-28T22:47:00.000-05:00

a couple of weeks ago, my father was away on a ski trip in Austria. my mother was home alone taking care of their three cats.

one day, i came over to her house for a visit. just to be helpful, i decided to feed the kitties. each feline gets her own food dish lest they fight over which one eats how much.
as they were eating, i heard:

"slurp-slurp!"

"sllluuurrrppp!"

"slurp-sluuurp-ssslurp!"

EACH INDIVIDUAL CAT was making her own distinctive slurping sound... and i could actually hear the difference!

i was so amused i started giggling. the cats heard me and looked up with a 'you're weird' expression... and then continued eating.

figures.

too bad animals can't appreciate a CI moment!

>^..^<

HEEELP!

2006-02-14T23:06:00.000-05:00

to my dear blog-readers,

this past Sunday night, a terrible tragedy occurred: my hard drive died on me, which means that i lost all of my e-mails, pictures, documents, etc. from the last year-and-a-half.

ugh.

my darling husband was kind enough to buy me a new computer the next day, but i've had to start from SCRATCH. sooo... i have a HUGE favor to ask all of you:

whoever e-mailed me in the last couple of months, can you please re-send your messages to me again? i really want to respond to everybody, but haven't had the time to do so. if you forward your original e-mails to me, I PROMISE TO RESPOND ASAP... for real this time.

thank you so much!

:o)

p.s. Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!

THE Anniversary

2006-02-07T21:57:00.000-05:00

one year ago today, my cochlear implant was activated...

i remember how overwhelming the whole day was.

i remember how much i hated the sounds i was hearing and how they made me cry.

i remember my husband looking at me with such sadness, wishing nothing but happiness for me.

i remember how supportive my whole family was.

i remember calling my brother on my cell phone and being thrilled that i could hear him... i couldn't understand a word he was saying, but i could HEAR him.

i remember how excited my friends were for me, even though they might not have realized just how deaf i really was without my implant.

i remember being amazed at how noisy the world is.

i am so proud for having come this far and for still having daily CI-moments.

i am SO grateful to everyone (especially Dr. Downey and Judy) for helping me get to where i am today.

hearing is W O N D E R F U L ! ! !

One Special Day, Two Anniversaries

2006-01-04T21:19:00.000-05:00

one year ago today, i underwent surgery for my cochlear implant.

three years ago today, i got married.

wow... talk about time flying!

AND

talk about life being goooood.

An Interesting Article on Static

2006-01-01T23:40:00.000-05:00

i found this online the other day:

Static from plastic slides can drop deaf children back into silence

sorry this isn't about my implant... i'll post something soon enough.

p.s. HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!!

At the Gym

2005-12-23T16:18:00.000-05:00

i was busy working my butt off on the elliptical runner while hooked up to the gadget that plays sound from the television sets (i'm not sure what it's called... sorry). i use the personal audio cable that comes with my CI processor accessories and attach it to the thingamajig on the exercise machines. each gym member can choose whatever channel she wants to listen to (whether it be music or one of the six television sets playing on the wall).

anyway, i had decided to watch the news, so i plugged into the specific television set that was playing the program. as i'm listening, the closed captioning was running along the bottom of the t.v. (for those people who can't hear the broadcast directly and have to read it). the problem? i was getting sooo confused! you see, the captions don't run at exactly the same speed that the newscasters speak, so the words get all jumbled and lag behind. since i could actually hear what was being said, reading the captions THREW ME OFF. it was bizarre.

of course, i'm not really "complaining" about this... i'm actually counting my blessings. my CI works so well, and i can hear the news reports so clearly, that i don't have to read the captions. what's even better is that if i forget my glasses and can't see the t.v. screen, i can just listen to the sound of the television without worrying about what i'm missing. it's AWESOME.

another lovely incident that happened to me while i was at the gym was when i was getting changed in the locker room. someone was making an announcement over the P.A. system and it sounded rather urgent. here i was, all worried and thinking i was missing something, when all of a sudden i caught the last bit of the announcement: '...your lights are on.'

'ohmigosh!' i thought... 'what if it's my car whose lights are on???' and then without even trying to hear the announcement, i hear it again: '...Blue BMW, license plate number blah-blah-blah, your lights are on.'

WHEW! now that definitely wasn't me... heh.

sometimes it's best NOT to lipread

2005-11-21T23:04:00.000-05:00

a client of mine -- we'll call her "Rudy" -- has no teeth. she doesn't bother with dentures because that is just a part of her mental illness (she has Paranoid Schizophrenia). the problem? i can't understand her.

you see, i "cheat" a lot (mostly because i'm lazy) and lipread more often than i really need to. well, whenever Rudy talks, i can't help but stare at her mouth to try and figure out what the heck she's saying. Rudy doesn't talk much, but when she does say something, it's usually VERY important. hence the reason why i practically strain my eyes trying to understand her.

last week, i tried something different -- i focused on a different part of Rudy's face (i think it was her eyes) and really LISTENED to her... and i understood what she was saying! imagine that.

each day that goes by, i am reminded of how well my cochlear implant works and how much it helps me -- WHEN I LET IT.

Mother Nature's Sound Effects... and ZAP!

2005-11-14T21:24:00.000-05:00

since this is the first Autumn ever that i have my CI, new sound experiences keep popping up all over the place:

leaves rustling in the wind
the wind in general whooshing past me
crackling of dry leaves under my car
even the doorbell ringing every few minutes on Halloween!

i have also had the "pleasure" of being shocked by static electricity while wearing my CI. to the average person, this may not seem like a big deal... it happens all the time, right?

well... when *I* get zapped by static electricity, i actually go DEAF for a split second. it is the scariest thing! it is also NOT good for my processor because it can get disrupted by exposure to static electricity.

as the British Cochlear Implant Group says in their RECOMMENDED GUIDELINES ON SAFETY FOR COCHLEAR IMPLANT USERS:

Cochlear implant systems have some inbuilt protection from static electricity, but occasionally static electricity has corrupted the map of processors and very rarely caused damage to the internal implant.

it's not like i deliberately rubbed my body against my car seat and then touched the door to get a shock, though... i was not even expecting to go deaf, but when i did -- wow. i know, i have to be careful.

for anyone who is interested in more information about static electricity, Advanced Bionics has a good explanation at the bottom of this page.

happy Fall to everyone!

:-)

A Quick Update and An Apology

2005-11-09T19:39:00.000-05:00

i know i've AWOL lately -- for very good reasons, too -- but i will be updating soon with some interesting stories... i promise!

the main reason i am writing right now though is to warn whoever reads this blog that my picture links may suddenly stop working. for the first time since i started using Fotopic as a hosting service, my accounts are being restricted... so much so, that i actually have to cancel/delete some of them. i am quite upset about this because i have many photographs posted through this web site and am NOT about to pay 45 Pounds a year (yes, they're British) for multiple accounts. yeah, i know -- i did a sneaky thing by signing up for more than one, but i didn't think i'd get caught when using so many e-mail addresses... sheesh.

anywhooo, if by some chance a fellow reader clicks on a link and an error message pops up instead of an image, please let me know. i will slowly, but surely re-link my pictures through Photobucket, a MUCH better (and unlimited) site.

thanks for your understanding, y'all!

p.s. also, thank you to whoever posted the "Anonymous" comment and clarified the Fotopic account issue for me.

i actually hear better than him (sometimes)

2005-10-12T19:27:00.000-04:00

hubby and i were leaving my brother's apartment in NYC the other night. mind you, it's a 5th-floor-walk-up with NO ELEVATORS, so we had to trek it downstairs on foot...

UGH.

anyway, as we were walking, i heard a very soft, but distinct, "thunk!" sound. to me, it sounded like something had fallen and hit the carpeted steps.

'did you hear that?' i said to my husband.

'no... what are you talking about?' he responded.

i told him, 'i think i heard something fall... did you drop anything?'

'i don't think so,' he said, and kept on walking ahead of me.

'lo and behold, i came across a tire gauge, of all things. so i picked it up and said to hubby, 'isn't this yours?'

he looked at me all sorts of shocked, 'oh, my goodness! that's my tire gauge. i didn't realize i dropped it. it must've fallen out of my pocket. how did you hear that???'

i smiled, handed it to him and said, 'i just did.'

Well, how about that?

2005-09-26T22:23:00.000-04:00

tonight, of all nights, i found this article online: New Cochlear Implant Surgery

it's so exciting to know that the technology and medicine behind cochlear implants is improving at such a rapid pace.

i never would've imagined that less than 8 months after my CI activation, so many new advances would be out there.

this gives me hope for the future if i ever get implanted in my other ear...

yippeee!

What is that clinking sound?

2005-09-26T20:35:00.000-04:00

just now, as i was sitting in the living room reading a magazine, i heard this "CLINK! CLINK! CLINK-CLINK!" sound...

i knew it was coming from the bathroom, but i had no idea what it was.

so i called out to hubby, 'what is that noise???'

he answered: 'i'm trimming my toenails... can't you tell?'

no, i couldn't.

this clinking sound was coming from the toenail clippings hitting the inside of the mental trash can in the bathroom (gross, i know). the funny thing is, it sounded like metal-on-metal, not toenails on metal.

i guess my CI can't translate every sound it hears, huh?

p.s. i know it's been a while since i've updated this blog (what else is new), but i have a couple new posts in the making... so stay tuned!

;-D

"The milk is in the kitchen."

2005-08-10T22:19:00.000-04:00

sooo... today i had my six-month mapping appointment and i must say i am quite pleased with myself.

at first, i was a bit "nervous" because i forgot to bring my SPrint body-worn processor (bwp) with me. you see, i haven't worn it in almost a month -- since i started my new job, actually -- so it didn't occur to me to take it to the mapping session. it's not like i thought i would get in trouble or anything... it's just that this is the first time ever since i was hooked up in February that i did not have my bwp with me.

well, Judy (my audiologist) was totally fine with it and said that she would just map my 3G, the ear-level processor i've been wearing all along. there were no problems -- things happened the way they have in the past -- so the mapping process was uneventful. because the implanted ear is supposed to get "used to" the sounds and eventually stabilitze at a specific threshold/comfort range, it isn't surprising that not much has changed.

although...

now that it has been almost 6 hours since my mapping session, i can really hear a difference.

i have 2 programs in my processor -- Program 1 (the volume setting) has today's new map; Program 2 also has today's new map, but is set for sensitivity. before today's adjustment, i would use Program 1 at about a 3-4 volume range. i would usually find it getting softer at the end of the day, so much so that sometimes i'd have to turn the volume up to 5-6 or higher.

well, right now, i have Program 1 set at a volume of 1 and it sounds GREAT! wow... the difference a "little" adjustment makes!

after the mapping session, Judy then tested me in the sound booth using a sentence recognition CD. the first set of sentences i scored a 100% -- yay, me! the second set of sentences was "harder" because the narration was set to background noise. this set i had a score of "only" 98% BUT!!!

i corrected myself.

how, you ask?

i heard -- and meant to repeat back -- "The milk is in the pitcher." too bad i didn't trust my CI to say so in the first place.

Judy gave me the 100% anyway.

:o)

just a quick one

2005-08-09T21:48:00.000-04:00

i forgot to post this when it happened, so i'll just do it now.....

last weekend, my husband and i were hanging out with a bunch of our friends at another friend's house. since this was around 9 o'clock at night, it was dark outside, which is where we were all sitting. it's nice to enjoy the warm, summer weather while we still have it.

anyway, there was a porch light on and a couple Citronella candles burning, but the light was pretty much non-existent. to make things even more challenging, a radio was playing in the background.

for anyone who doesn't recognize the dilemma here:

POOR LIGHTING + BACKGROUND NOISE + MULTIPLE PEOPLE SPEAKING = a lip-reader's nightmare.

i did not hesitate to ask one of my friends to turn the radio down because i did not want to strain to read everyone's lips the whole night. i knew that if the music in the background was quieter, i could actually hear people speaking.

as soon as my friend turned down the volume on the radio -- without hesitating, thank goodness -- i was in HEAVEN: it was so much easier to follow along with everyone's conversation... AND to be included in it!

this cochlear implant is absolutely awesome.

Belonging

2005-07-27T23:16:00.000-04:00

i know i just posted a super-duper-long entry yesterday, but today i had an incredible CI moment at work. because i don't want to just brush it off and write about it the next time i feel inspired, i figured i would share it ASAP.

during our daily "synopsis-meeting" today at my new job, two staff members were discussing a client they had just visited. because i just starting working at this agency (8 lovely days ago), i do not have much to say about the people we service. the new staff training involves a lot of listening, reading and observing, but not much talking.

anyway, everyone was talking about this one particular client, except for me and another new staff member. amazingly (or not so much anymore?) i was able to follow along with the conversation, even though there were 5 people taking part in this animated discussion. "Betty" said something, then "Missy" said something and then "Kevin" said something and then "Bob" said something and "Kathy" said something and then "Betty" and "Missy" and "Kevin" and so on and so on... back and forth it went.

at one point, someone made a silly comment about something that happened. for some odd reason, i was feeling brave enough to put in my 2 cents -- so i did -- and then the most wonderful thing happened: everyone laughed. they actually laughed at my joke! little Linda, the quiet Mental Health Advocate, who just started her new job, made a joke causing everyone around the table -- and i do mean everyone -- to crack up. i was in HEAVEN.

now, this may not seem like that big of a deal to the normal-hearing people who joke around in group situations all the time, BUT it was a fantastic moment for me. to be able to follow along during a conversation that 5 people at a time were having, and then to JUMP IN WITH A JOKE, is unheard of for me. i just don't do it... or at least, i didn't used to do it.

obviously, that is going to change now. today i found something inside of me that i didn't realize i had, and thought i lost (right along with my hearing last October): CONFIDENCE.

it was a good day... a good day, indeed.

Almost Six Months Since Activation

2005-07-26T20:39:00.000-04:00

due to a variety of factors -- laziness, busy-ness, new-job-ness -- i have been very lacking in updating this blog. i see the (small) amount of people that actually visit this site and wonder if: (a) it's worth updating since not that many people read it anymore, or (b) it's worth updating so that more people will read it. obviously, i decided upon the latter...

in no particular order of importance, here are some CI moments/observations/experiences i've had since my last CI mapping in May:

i thought i heard a dog barking in the hallway at my old job... i said to myself, 'what would a dog be doing at a medical billing company???' and then realized, it WAS a dog! i know i should trust my hearing more, but wow... it's still so new to me
if i happen to be watching a television commercial that isn't close-captioned, i don't panic as much as i used to... i actually welcome the challenge of "having to" figure out what is being said by forcing myself to actually LISTEN to the narration
at a friend's BBQ last month, a friend of mine whom i hadn't seen since BEFORE my CI surgery in January had called my name when i was walking away from him... i heard him (naturally!) and turned around to see what he wanted: 'just checking' is what he said to me -- he was testing out my CI to see if it really works... i was beaming when i realized that my CI had "passed" the test (not that i was surprised)
whenever the cleaning crew at my old job would vacuum the office, i found it to be way too loud, so i'd just turn down the volume on my body-worn processor... now that i think about it, i don't think i will ever get used to the annoying sound of a vacuum cleaner
my former co-worker called my name from across the room and i heard her... when i turned around, she had a huge grin on her face because she didn't have to call my name 7,392 times before i responded to her
the clocks ticking at work -- they have gotten louder and more distinct than i ever remember clocks sounding
female voices sound more normal to me than they did when my CI was first hooked-up, although my friend Rachel's voice is the most high-pitched i know... sometimes i have trouble following her on the phone because she sounds so squeaky... i wonder if this will ever change/get better
whenever i hear children talking, their voices are difficult for me to "digest" as well... i guess i have to get used to listening to kids, but since i don't have any -- or know anyone that has any -- this may take a while (which is fine with me!)
sometimes, when i'm tired or feeling lazier than usual, i "cheat" and read people's lips instead of really LISTENING to them... i realize i do this more than i should or more than i need to
i find it harder to block out other people's conversations (on their cell phones, for example) because now i can understand what they're talking about... i have to learn how not to eavesdrop!
i notice more and more that cashiers say 'Have a nice day!' when i am paying for something... it's amazing how polite some people are
i also can hear the total cost of a purchase now without having to see the actual amount rung up on the cash-register... this is great and saves me a lot of embarrassment from giving a cashier the wrong amount of money
i still listen to the radio every morning during my drive to work and then most afternoons when i drive home... i absolutely LOVE hearing the news and understanding almost everything that is being said
on the other hand, i haven't really been listening to music because i enjoy listening to the talking part of the radio
i really, really, really enjoy talking on the phone now -- especially my cell phone -- and find myself deliberately making calls to people just so i can hear them!
if my CI batteries die, i abhor the minute or two of silence that i have to endure as i change them... if my hearing aid battery dies, it's NO BIG DEAL -- in fact, all the HA really does is slightly help me determine the direction sounds are coming from
with the recent hot weather we've been having, the air-conditioning is constantly turned on in our condo... well, i find myself having an easier time hearing my husband than he does hearing me -- it's awesome!
my brother has a tendency to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention -- i just tell him, 'you can talk to me even if i'm not looking at you' because he still hasn't gotten used to it... this is much fun for me

i am due for another CI mapping (tune-up) in August, so if anything new comes up or i experience any more exciting CI moments, i promise to update this site sooner. i guess that's it for now. thank you to those of you who still read my bloggings -- your patience is much appreciated!

:o)

really quick CI moment

2005-07-07T22:05:00.000-04:00

i just *had* to post this RIGHT AWAY because it was sooo cool!

just a little while ago, i was in the living room sitting at my computer while my husband was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower.

all of a sudden, i hear this "snip... snippety-snip... snip... snip-snip" sound coming from the bathroom and i just knew what it was: hubby was trimming his toenails...

...and i actually HEARD him!

wow.

it's been a while since i had a CI moment like this. yup-yup, my "bionic ear" is working very well.

YIPPEEE FOR MEEE!!!

Date of Evaluation: May 26, 2005

2005-07-04T22:40:00.000-04:00

i went for my 3-month evaluation and mapping session and wanted to share how things went. i was thinking of summarizing what happened, but then decided to just type out what the report said. yes, i'm lazy, but this is way more accurate than anything i could come up with!

there is a bunch of technical stuff in there, but if you read beyond it, you can see how well i am doing:

HISTORY: This patient was seen for a three month follow-up cochlear implant mapping session. The patient reports that she is receiving fair benefit from her implant, however notes that at times she feels it needs to be made louder. Additionally, the patient reports receiving good benefit from her hearing aid to the opposing ear.

AUDIOLOGICAL RESULTS: "T" and "C" levels were obtained and one new map was created. One map was an ACE map with ADRO, which was for the SPrint processor and one map was an upgrade of the patient's current Esprit 3G map to improve on loudness. Testing in the sound field with ADRO map revealed thresholds at 30 dB at 250 Hz and 25 dB at 500 through 8,000 Hz. Discrimination in sound field via CD was 100%. Hearing in noise test was obtained at 55 dB with 35 dB as noise and revealed a test score of 100%.

IMPRESSION: Based on today's findings, the patient is receiving excellent benefit from her maps as recorded.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Re-mapping in three months or sooner if the patient notes any problems.

i must say that i am very happy with the way things are going. even though i cannot use the ADRO program in my 3G processor, i am extremely pleased.

i will be posting kinda-new CI moments later this week. i apologize for taking so long to update this, but things have been hectic!

yes, i'm alive... and hearing well!

2005-06-27T10:38:00.000-04:00

i know, i know... it's been a LONG time since i last posted, but there are several reasons for this:

i haven't had many "new" CI moments lately, even though my implant has been working WONDERFULLY;
i have been super busy with life and work and all the stress surrounding the two;
i wasn't sure how many people were really reading my blog until the last few weeks when THREE (3!) separate people asked me when i'll be updating it;
i'm lazy.

i have a few stories/anecdotes to share that are interesting, but i have to take the time to put them all together first. i figured that in the meantime, i would sort of announce my "comeback" before my fellow blog-readers gave up on me completely.

thanks for your patience... see y'all again in a few days!

:o)

An update and a farewell... for now.

2005-04-21T09:52:00.000-04:00

i think this will be the last post in this blog... for a while, at least.

i haven't had any earth-shattering CI moments lately, although my hearing has been working very well. i'm still listening to the radio every morning on my way to work, i play my favorite CD's, i talk on the phone (both cell and land line) AND i don't rely on lip-reading as much. IT'S GREAT!

last weekend, my friend and i ordered the movie Stepford Wives through Movies On Demand. for some reason, the closed-captioning wasn't working. naturally, i was distraught because i NEED to read the captions in order to understand the movie... or so i thought.

instead of complaining about how Cablevision ripped me off by "fooling" me into purchasing a movie that wasn't captioned, i decided to hook up my processor directly to the television by way of the personal audio cable. with this little gadget, the sound from the movie was transmitted directly into my processor, so i heard it very clearly. it's amazing how much of the movie i understood because when it ended, i didn't think i missed anything (which is usually the case when i can't follow along). i felt so accomplished because i actually heard the movie! with a combination of listening really hard and speech-reading the characters' lips, i was able to follow The Stepford Wives with hardly any problems.

in short, the cochlear implant is an INCREDIBLE piece of technology. it has changed my life so much in many wonderful ways. i have no complaints whatsover, no regrets either and if i had to do this all over again, i would. END OF STORY.

before i wrap up this blog, i just wanted to say "Thank you!" to all of you who read my postings on a regular basis. i wish there was more for me to type, but unless i have some unusual CI moment or find myself hearing things better, i don't have anything to type about.

i do have an appointment to go for another mapping session with my audiologist next month, so maybe after that happens, i will have some new hearing stories to share.

in the meantime, if anybody has any questions/comments/compliments/complaints, PLEASE feel free to e-mail me at lindahear@optonline.net... i will gladly get back to you.

happy hearing!

:o)

i'm really deaf... for real

2005-04-14T16:03:00.000-04:00

this morning, while getting ready for work, i walked into my bedroom and saw that my alarm clock was still vibrating (the light was blinking -- i didn't actually see the vibration... duh).

well... turns out, i didn't shut the alarm off when i first woke up -- i pressed the snooze button instead. (i know i'm not the only one who's ever done this!)

well, imagine my horror when i felt the pillow and noticed that it was WARM to the touch. my poor alarm clock -- it was vibrating for a good 20 minutes before i turned it off.

obviously, i wasn't wearing my CI *or* my hearing aid, otherwise i would have HEARD it!

grrrrr... how embarrassing... and what a waste of energy.

thank goodness my pillow didn't explode or something. how would i explain that to my husband? 'umm... honey? our bed is on fire because i let the alarm clock cook my pillow... ooops.'

:-/

Look Ma, No Captions!

2005-04-13T11:32:00.000-04:00

i was watching The Food Network's Unwrapped the other day when i noticed that the captioning wasn't consistent with the narration. whatever Mark Summers was saying would show up delayed in the captions. i found this rather frustrating because not only could i hear what he was saying, but it didn't coincide with the words i was reading on the television screen.

SOOO... for the first time ever since i've been wearing my CI, i deliberately turned off the Closed Captioning -- and i felt *SO* empowered! i actually preferred to listen to the narration of the show rather than read the delayed captioning.

yay, me! yay, CI! i could understand and hear and everything. WOO-HOO!!!

:-D

Sound-Related Pet Peeves

2005-04-08T10:23:00.000-04:00

now that i'm getting more and more used to this "surround sound" hearing thing, i've developed some pet peeves. i'm *not* complaining because being able to hear so much is wonderful... it's just that i'm human, and i get annoyed by certain sounds like everyone else does (i assume).

anyway, here they are in no particular order:

my co-worker sniffling all the time -- she never blows her nose, even though she has a box of tissues RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER ON HER DESK! i want to ask her if she has a cold or if she's suffering from allergies, but what if she doesn't get the hint? it's not like i can say "stop that sniffling! i can hear you, you know?"
someone making a telephone call using the speakerphone -- this sound has always gotten to me, even prior to my CI... now it's just LOUDER and more DISTINCT. hearing the phone ringing on the other end over the speaker is very annoying... and loud!
my husband's car radio playing in the background when i'm talking to him on the phone -- i ask him to turn it down and he always says, 'i can barely hear it, it's so quiet!' so i tell him that *I* can hear it and that he should just shut it off... thank goodness he's so patient with me and complies with my request.
my neighbors taking a shower -- the walls in our co-op are so thin that you can hear every little sound that my neighbors make. whenever the water is running in their bathroom, i can hear it, and it sounds like a huge flood coming in... or a waterfall running through our living room..... UGH.

GOSH, i'm cranky!

:-[

The storm was astonishingly noisy this weekend.

2005-04-03T23:15:00.000-04:00

anyone who lives in the tri-state area knows about the "lovely" rain we got on Saturday. well, i don't think i have ever heard a thunderstorm as loudly and clearly as much as i did last night!

it was quite frightening at first because i was home alone, so hubby wasn't around to clarify every little noise that i heard: 'yes, that was the wind... yes, that was a car horn... yes, that was a bird...'

last night, i had to listen to these sounds BY MYSELF and then i had to figure out what they were. wow, what a challenge! the funny thing is, once i knew what exactly was making all the noise, i wasn't as "scared" anymore.

at one point, i actually heard water splashing against the living room window. at first, i didn't believe that it was raining THAT hard, but it was! my goodness... as soon as i looked out the window, i saw the downpour and it was BAD.

i also heard thunderclaps and the wind whipping against the screens on the windows. i didn't realize that window screens make noise when it's windy enough. who would've thunk it?

i discovered a lot of new sounds yesterday... THANK YOU, MOTHER NATURE!

:o)

"Surround" Sound

2005-04-03T22:56:00.000-04:00

i have been wearing my hearing aid since Wednesday of last week and would like to say that i'm pleasantly surprised at how quickly i got used to hearing on my right side again. granted, there are HUGE differences in sound between the CI and the HA, but it's still better than being completely deaf on one side.

this is what i've noticed so far:

i can tell what direction sounds are coming from -- when my cell phone rings, for example, i know what room i left it in
background noise has a "fuller" quality now -- it's actually more noticeable because i can hear it all around and not just from my CI (left) side
people's voices are less mechanical and sound more "natural" -- my brain remembers voices better with my HA than with the CI (that's 25 years versus 2 months of hearing experience)

there aren't any other earth-shattering stories to share about my hearing aid now that i'm wearing it in conjunction with my cochlear implant. besides the initial turning on of my HA (which was NOT fun at all because everything sounded so distorted and weird and blurred together), things have been going smoothly.

i guess no news is good news, huh?

I'M SOOO EXCITED!

2005-03-30T13:38:00.000-05:00

i have an appointment with my audiologist to get my hearing aid re-programmed today and i can't WAIT! i haven't worn a hearing aid in my right (unimplanted) ear since my CI was activated on February 7th... so this should be pretty interesting.

i look forward to having "3D hearing" again. being able to tell where sounds are coming from is something i truly miss.

i will post updates when i have a chance to let everyone know how i hear with a cochlear implant AND a hearing aid.

YIPPEEE for me!

:o)

A Work-Related Update

2005-03-28T12:07:00.000-05:00

last week, i went to a Disability Law Conference hosted by the Division of Civil Rights at Bergen Community College in Paramus. even though it was something i had to do for work, it was a very informative session for me.

well, being that this was a disability-related conference, they provided Computer Assisted Real Time (CART) captioning for the attendees who needed it. (they also had ASL interpreters and a PowerPoint presentation, etc.) since the CART captioning was available, i could read what the speakers were saying, but i actually had an easier time simply listening to them talk. reading the transcription took too long -- and didn't include everything that was being said (the operator wasn't typing quick enough).

i am glad to report that my CI works so well that i didn't have to read -- and could actually LISTEN to the panel. i guess my ears "hear faster" than my eyes can read the CART transcription!

sometimes, a speaker would covered his or her mouth while talking (people tend to do this when they're nervous or are holding a microphone), so i had to concentrated harder on their words... and i STILL could hear what they were saying! it was absolutely AWESOME.

i'm not sure if this incident could be classified as a "CI moment" but it surely made my week!

:oD

Rhapsody Is Really Cool

2005-03-24T09:31:00.000-05:00

today i did something i haven't done since i lost my hearing last October: i turned on the Rhapsody radio program on my computer at work... and i listened to music!

i noticed that a lot of my posts lately have to do with the radio or with music. before my CI was activated, i really missed listening to music, so now i have been catching up every chance i get.

considering that i've been HOH my whole life, it's amazing how much i really enjoy listening to music. people have asked me if i can really hear the musicians or bands that i'm listening to. first, i think 'well, duh... of course i can,' but then i say, 'yes, i do.' i guess it's normal for some people to assume that i'm not really hearing the music -- that i'm only perceiving some kind of melodic sounds... and maybe i AM, but that doesn't mean i don't enjoy it.

i've been on a Charlie Parker kick lately... he sounds incredible. i have always enjoyed jazz, especially the saxophone-tinged kind. if it wasn't for my father, i would never know who "Bird" is. THANK YOU, Daddy!

:-)

DANCING!

2005-03-22T15:55:00.000-05:00

last weekend, i went to a club in Woodbridge, NJ called Studio 9 with a bunch of my friends.

this is the first time i've gone out dancing with my CI... and it was AWESOME!

the music was reeeeeally loud... so much so that i actually had to turn my processor off at one point. this helped somewhat, but the bass is so strong, it doesn't matter how deaf i am... i still "heard" that music.

needless to say -- with my processor on or off -- i had a really good time and can't wait to go again!

An "artistic" rendition of sound through a hearing aid

2005-03-19T10:57:00.000-05:00

"A hearing aid amplifies all the sounds that come into it, so the user has to learn what to listen to and what to ignore. When you are hard of hearing you tend to listen very closely to everything for fear of missing something important. With practice, you learn again what needs to be attended to and what can be ignored." (Denise M. Jansen, "Day to Day With My Cochlear Implant" Audiology Online, October 21, 2002)

This is what sounds "look" like with a cochlear implant!

2005-03-19T10:56:00.000-05:00

"With the cochlear implant, sounds are different from what they were with hearing aids. Hearing with hearing aids is somewhat passive, the sounds are amplified and you hear them. Hearing with a cochlear implant is active, you must learn to hear with the implant." (Denise M. Jansen, "Day to Day With My Cochlear Implant" Audiology Online, October 21, 2002)

Listening to the News

2005-03-17T13:26:00.000-05:00

every morning on my way to work, i listen to WNYC-FM: 93.9, National Public Radio. now that i have my CI, i can actually understand the news broadcasts (assuming the voice isn't too high-pitched or accented)... and it's GREAT.

well, i realized this morning that there really isn't anything in the news that is worth listening to. these are the stories i've picked up so far and i must say, they are DEPRESSING!

Robert Blake's murder acquittal - who cares?
Alaskan oil drilling - too bad
the Michael Jackson trial - yikes!
steroid use among Major League Baseball players - ugh
the WAR in Iraq - when will it be over???
problems in Lebanon and Syria - see above
soldiers in Afghanistan - poor guys
blah blah blah - blah blah blah

is this really what i've been missing all these years of not being able to hear the news? i find it to be sooo draining that i usually switch the station after a while and just listen to some music.

BUT!!! there are 2 reasons why i will never completely give up on listening to the news:

because i like to be kept abreast of current events;
and because i CAN!

heh heh.

;-P

My Visit to Hawthorne High School

2005-03-16T16:17:00.000-05:00

a good friend of mine - who is a science teacher at Hawthorne High School - asked me to come talk to a couple of her classes about my cochlear implant. at first, the idea terrified me because i am NOT a fan of public speaking, but i swallowed my fear and agreed to be a guest-speaker at the school.

i wasn't sure if i spoke too quickly or too quietly, but nobody had any complaints, so i guess i did an okay job. i basically told the "life story" of my hearing loss -- how my parents found out, what it was like wearing hearing aids, how i got by all those years in school as a HOH student and then of course, my implant experience.

i discussed details about the surgery, the hook-up and the two processors i wear. i even passed them around the classroom so that the students could take a look at them up close. as scared as i was to be speaking in front of a large group of people (there were around 30, i think), it felt very empowering to "brag" about my CI. for some reason, getting to share my story with all these wonderful kids validated my experience in a way and made it more REAL for me.

at the end of my presentation, the students asked me some very interesting questions. because some of them i had never even thought about, i figured i would share them with my blog-readers:

Q: what is your favorite sound? A: i was not prepared to answer this and wish i had come up with something more unique and original, but the only thing i could think of (besides every new sound i've heard) is my husband's voice -- being able to hear him without having to lipread him is so rewarding. my least favorite sound was a no-brainer, though, and that is the vacuum cleaner... ugh.
Q: do you regret getting implanted? A: NO WAY! if i had to do everything all over again, i would... no doubt about it. there is nothing i would change or do differently. gosh forbid something ever happens to the hearing in my other ear, i would LOVE to be implanted on that side, as well (that is, if my health insurance approves it)!
Q: what is the difference between the two processors (the ear-level versus the body-worn one)? A: the sound-quality is definitely different -- the ear-level processor sounds more "mechanic" or "robotic" than the body-worn processor, but that is a small price to pay when i don't want to be tied down with wires.
Q: will the implant ever have to be replaced? A: no. because i am an adult, my cochlea and mastoid bone will not change in size, so the implant shouldn't shift/move out of place. for children who are implanted at a very young age, replacement of the inner parts is sometimes necessary. i'm no expert when it comes to this, but those that are curious, i did find this tidbit on the Internet --
Reimplantation is necessary in approximately 5 percent of cases because of improper electrode insertion or migration, device failure, serious flap complication, or loss of manufacturer support. In general, reimplantation in the same ear is usually possible, and thus far individual auditory performance after reimplantation equals or exceeds that seen with the original implant (Cochlear Implants in Adults and Children. NIH Consens Statement. Online 1995 May 15-17 [cited 2005 March 16]; 13(2):1-30).

well, i guess that's it for now. i am glad that i went to visit Hawthorne High School so that i could share my CI experiences with the students there. i must admit though, that the best part was seeing a former teacher of mine, who happens to be the principal there. he is just as wonderful as i remember him from my eighth grade science class!

anyway, it was a *great* experience for me... and hope that my visitors think the same!

:o)

I had some lovely CI moments last weekend

2005-03-15T23:17:00.000-05:00

i know it's been a while since i posted any new CI moments, but i have been so busy lately -- i'm surprised i have time to breathe!

on March 13th, it was my mother's birthday, so being the good children we are, my brother and i visited with her all weekend. my father is away on a skiing trip, so unfortunately he wasn't around, but a lot of my recent CI moments circled around my mom and bro... and it was wonderful!

i was upstairs in the living room folding my laundry while my mother was downstairs (behind me) in the foyer... she called to me that my sweaters were still a little damp and would need to be laid out to dry... i responded, 'okay' and went about folding the rest of my clothes... WELL, i found out later that my mother was on her way upstairs to basically tell me the damp-sweater news a second time (just in case) because she figured i didn't hear her, but when i responded 'okay' she was SO DELIGHTED to learn that i did hear her (and didn't have to repeat herself!)
while having dinner with my brother and mom, they were talking to me while i was reading the menu... i continued to have a conversation with them even though i wasn't facing them. at one point i looked up and saw both my mother and bro grinning at me from ear to ear... and then my brother said to my mother "she can hear us... that's so cool!" -- i got all teary-eyed seeing how excited both of them were for me

i haven't been keeping track of my CI moments as much as i used to at the beginning, but it's only because there haven't been that many new ones to report. i guess i should mention some new sounds i'm enjoying:

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC on my car radio -- familiar musicians/groups are sounding much better to me (Jack Johnson, Bob Marley, Beatles)... i have also been listening to a band called Onyx and think they are INCREDIBLE (their lyrics are just a tad vulgar, but i simply ignore them and enjoy the awesome bass sounds)
the teakettle whistling is an amazing thing... hubby and i just bought a new one tonight, so i got to hear it for the first time and WOW! (i melted the old teakettle because i didn't hear the whistling -- this happened pre-CI and is something i would rather forget)
hubby chewing his food -- it's a loud sound (no matter what he's eating)... i never really noticed this before, but now i pick it up all the time

COMING SOON: the story of my visit to Hawthorne High School!

:o)

"Freedom" From Water

2005-03-15T16:49:00.000-05:00

This just in: The Nucleus(R) Freedom(TM) System

Talk about weird timing, huh?

:-/

The Perils of Background Noise

2005-03-11T11:07:00.000-05:00

i was talking to my husband on the phone yesterday, but was having difficulty understanding him because i kept hearing something in the background.

lately, i haven't had to ask people to repeat themselves over the phone (as much), but for some reason, i kept telling hubby to speak up and slow down and repeat what he was saying.

he was driving in his car, so i asked him, 'what is all that noise back there? i am having a really tough time focusing on your voice...'

hubby said to me, 'that is my car radio playing... it's turned down really low. how can you hear that!?'

well, hear it i DID.

how cool is that!?!?

:-O

I "lost" my batteries!

2005-03-10T14:28:00.000-05:00

i was changing the batteries in my 3G this morning when all of a sudden 2 of the used batteries just disappeared on me. i frantically searched for them, but couldn't find them FOR THE LIFE OF ME.

well, i had just about given up looking for these little metal suckers when i picked up the processor to put it back on my head and found the 2 batteries stuck to the magnet of the transmitter!

HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

this cracked me up so much because i would never have expected the batteries to hide underneath the magnet. yup, it actually works (and "steals" used batteries out of my sight)!

:-P

Features of the ESPrit 3G

2005-03-09T23:05:00.000-05:00

i wanted to list the differences between the volume setting and the sensitivity setting on my new bte (behind-the-ear) processor.....

this doesn't really involve any specific CI moments, but is something i wanted to record for my own information (and for those that are curious about the technical stuff)

VOLUME:

i use this setting in quieter environments where there isn't a lot of background noise -- i.e., at home or at work
i can hear my computer fan buzzing, the mouse clicking, feet rubbing on the carpet, water running, pretty much everything
when i'm watching t.v., i use this setting because then i can hear my phone ringing or my computer beeping when i receive an instant message

SENSITIVITY:

i like this setting in louder environments, such as a crowded restaurant or in my car
i prefer to use this setting wtih my cell phone because it blocks out background noise
if i want to concentrate on voices right next to me, this setting blocks out everything else so i can focus on whoever i'm listening to

although the sound quality of the 3G isn't as "advanced" or "crisp-sounding" as with the body-worn processor, i am getting used to it more and more each day...

i know that with time, even the 3G will sound more "natural" than my hearing aids ever did.

A little birdie told me that Spring is coming!

2005-03-07T11:23:00.000-05:00

oh, my goodness... i heard birds singing this morning and they sounded BEEEAUTIFUL!

yes, i know some birds make really pretty sounds, but WOW... i never heard just *how* pretty they can be.

and to think that all these years, even with my hearing aids, i never truly HEARD birds singing. i did hear something that sounded like chirping or squeaking, but it wasn't an actual song -- it was more like background noise that i learned to ignore.

well, now i *really* can't wait for Spring to get here!

:-D

Four weeks to the day...

2005-03-07T00:07:00.000-05:00

well, it's been a month since my CI was first activated and BOY, has a lot changed!

i am thoroughly enjoying not being "tied down" with the wires of the SPrint body-worn processor, but i must admit that the sound quality isn't as crisp with the 3G. i know that each device has its advantages and disadvantages, so depending on the situation i'm in, i will change the processor i'm wearing.

regardless, i have experienced some more CI moments since i got the 3G:

while driving to NYC with my husband this past weekend, we were listening to the radio in my car... i could barely hear the music, so i asked him if i could turn it up (i don't like "blasting" the radio unless i'm alone because then i worry about other people's ears not being able to handle the volume i like)... well, when i said i was having difficulty hearing the music, hubby said, 'i can barely hear it myself; it's turned down really low.' how amazing is that? i couldn't hear the radio, not because i'm deaf, but because it was too quiet... what a normal feeling!
i heard a beep-boop sound the other day (and thought it was my cell phone letting me know i received a text-message), but because it was barely audible, i thought i was imagining the sound... it turns out that i did receive a text-message. this makes me realize that i don't trust my newfound hearing ability as much as i should
while out having brunch with my mother at a diner, i had a really difficult time hearing her voice because i kept hearing other people's voices around me... this background speaking thing is very new to me -- i'm not used to hearing someone else behind me talking while i'm trying to have a conversation myself... it is HARD!

just a little side note: if i don't concentrate on really LISTENING to a person, i have a tough time picking up what they are saying if i'm not speech-reading them... it doesn't matter that i can HEAR what is being said -- i have to truly focus on listening to the dialogue. i'm sure normal-hearing people deal with this all the time and don't even think twice about it, but for ME, it's sooo new...

i realize that over the years, i became so used to just saying 'what?' all the time and basically "took advantage" of everyone constantly repeating themselves. this is exactly why i'm so lazy now when it comes to listening and is something i really need to work on. who would've thought that something so simple would be such a challenge!

RESIZED PICTURES!

2005-03-06T12:00:00.000-05:00

here i am, wearing my new 3G speech processor

another picture

2005-03-06T11:58:00.000-05:00

you can still see the scar above my ear (it's almost healed)

The 3G... Exposed

2005-03-06T11:49:00.001-05:00

this is what the 3G looks like when it's open... all naked with batteries exposed

color covers

2005-03-06T11:49:00.000-05:00

the various color covers for my 3G... these are fun to change depending on my mood and/or outfit!

Pictures

2005-03-04T09:53:00.000-05:00

it occurred to me that i can make my pictures larger and easier to see, so i will be re-posting them this weekend.

for those of you who are having trouble viewing the thumbnails i just put up, i apologize.

better quality photographs will be here soon, i promise!

:o)

Now that I have my ESprit 3G speech processor.....

2005-03-03T23:43:00.000-05:00

..... i have to practice wearing it, listening with it, adjusting it and figuring out which program and setting is most comfortable for me. it's not like i'm starting from scratch (like the way i did with my bwp), but it's definitely different.

i have had several CI moments since i got fitted with the 3G processor:

while driving home from work, i was listening to Lou Reed's "Take a Walk on the Wild Side" and actually understood the lyrics he was singing (i didn't know the story behind it until i looked it up tonight)... well, it shocked the heck out of me and made me laugh SO MUCH when i realized he was singing 'Plucked her eyebrows on the way, Shaved her leg and then he was a she...' at first i thought it was "plucked her eyebrows all the way" but after listening to it over and over again, i figured it out... yay!
i noticed that i can hear better on my cell phone with my 3G than i did with the SPrint body-worn processor; this is why i did something completely new today: answered a telemarketer's phone call. this is the FIRST time since my CI was activated that i answered my cell phone even though i didn't recognize the number on the caller ID... it was amazing -- this guy was trying to get me to change banks (or something) and even though i wasn't interested, i kept on talking to him because i could understand him (he had the best voice for it)... he was very friendly and really easy to talk to... i think we chit-chatted for maybe 3 minutes (which is long considering i didn't buy anything)... and i'm sure the telemarketer dude thinks i'm nuts, but i had fun!
there are 2 settings for my 3G -- sensitivity and volume; when the sensitivity setting is increased, the microphone will pick up sounds from farther away, but when it's decreased, it only picks up nearby conversation and blocks out background noise... well, i was washing dishes and talking to my husband at the same time when i realized that i could hear his voice, yet i barely heard the water running... it was the weirdest thing

obviously, i'm still getting used to the 3G... it's not as heavy as i thought it would be and changing the colors is fun. i also have a lot to learn about the different settings and deciding which ones i'll use for what situations (listening to music versus sitting in a crowded restaurant, for example).

all in all, i am very pleased with the way it's working!

:o)

Three-and-a-half weeks!

2005-03-02T23:51:00.000-05:00

so much has happened since the last time i posted on here, i'm absolutely overwhelmed. instead of making such a big production out of every little item and dreading the time it will take to post each entry, i'm just going to spit it out. there's no sense making myself more anxious than i already am, right? right!

sooo... here are some more CI moments i've had recently:

while at the car dealership a couple days ago, hubby and i were waiting for the car salesman to come back with some paper work. while sitting at the guy's desk, i heard music playing over the dealership's PA system and i RECOGNIZED it! the song wasn't that difficult to pick up -- The Bee Gees classic, Stayin' Alive - but my goodness, i knew what it was! the funny thing is, it didn't even occur to me that i was having such a wonderful CI moment until my husband caught me lip-syncing along to the song and brought it to my attention... heh heh :-P
even though the t.v. was turned on while i was watching Law & Order, i still heard the microwave beeping when my dinner was ready... this startled me, because even though i knew i was heating up food, i actually forgot about it until the microwave beeped
i can hear my husband spraying air freshener in the bathroom... it's the funniest sound and i always make fun of him: 'did you stink up the bathroom again?' and he says to me, 'no fair... you heard that!'
when i called my audiologist, Judy, to reschedule an appointment, her reaction was so sweet! it's pretty much "normal" for me to use my phone now (i use a hands-free headset, which makes it easier to hear), but apparently it was a bigger deal for Judy... her words: 'i almost fell off my chair when i realized it was you!' this was so nice to hear because it's not every day that someone truly sees how well i'm doing with my CI... and tells me so. thanks, Judy! :o)
when i was taking a nap one afternoon, i decided to keep my CI turned on just in case my phone rang or whatever... well, believe it or not, but my own stomach grrrowling woke me up! normally, i don't sleep with my CI or hearing aids, so i'm not used to hearing anything... AND i don't think i've ever heard my stomach growl this loud!
i facilitated a meeting at my work for the first time since i was hooked up... despite there being 12 people in the group, i had a MUCH easier time following the discussion; as long as people took turns talking one-by-one, i was hearing them with less difficulty... when i could see the speaker's face, the combination of the CI and lipreading made the meeting go by SO WELL... and i wasn't bored because i knew what was going on

the biggest, most exciting piece of news i wanted to share does not involve an actual CI moment... it is about me getting my ESprit 3G (ear-level) processor today! as soon as i get some pictures taken of it, i will post them on here so everyone can see what it looks like. there are NO WIRES dangling from my head... no body-worn processor tugging on my pants... it's perfect. granted, the sound quality is very different (not good or bad), but just like i did with the SPrint, i will have to get used to the 3G.

(pictures are coming soon!)

It's getting easier to hear without lipreading!

2005-02-28T22:42:00.000-05:00

i'm not sure if these are considered actual "CI moments" but i still think they're worth reporting:

this past weekend, my family and i went out to a Czech restaurant for dinner... while i sat in the back seat, my mother and father were in the front, and we had a conversation during the car ride there... although i needed some repeats, i pretty much understood what my parents were saying to me EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T FACING THEM
my husband and i were talking to a friend of ours at a bar; music was playing in the background, so i had a difficult time hearing what our friend was saying, BUT with a combination of lip-reading *and* listening with my CI, i was able to follow the conversation
the television at my parents' house doesn't have the closed-captioning turned on because i don't live there anymore... well, i was watching some t.v. with my family and forced myself to follow the dialogue without turning on the CC; it was difficult, and i missed quite a bit (especially when the talking was fast), but i know i'm improving because i picked up a lot more than i thought i would
i was test-driving a Pontiac G6 today... because my hubby was in the passenger seat, the salesman sat in the back; again, i had to follow what the guy was saying without looking at him directly and did pretty well... and NOW i'm the proud owner of the very car i speak of (no, that's not related to my cochlear implant, but i want to brag anyway)

as awful as this NJ weather is, it turned out to be a pretty darn good weekend!

:o)

People Forget That I Can Hear

2005-02-26T12:42:00.000-05:00

i notice that when someone is talking to me and i happen to look away for a split second (to maybe write something down, reach for something, etc.), the person actually stops talking and waits for me to look back at him or her.

it's sooo fascinating to me how after all these years, people have it ingrained in them that i need to speechread in order to understand what is being said (which is totally understandable and makes me feel good that they care). if i'm not facing whoever is talking, that person figures (mistakenly) that i'm not hearing what they're saying.

obviously, now that i have my CI, i can understand speech without lipreading... and it's AMAZING. the funny thing is, i don't get to do it much because whoever i'm talking to, will stop talking until i look at them again!

here are a couple examples:

my husband will walk up to me from across the room so he can tap me on the shoulder to get my attention; i'll tell him, 'just call my name... i can hear you!' we both laugh about it because it's sooo cool that i can hear him call my name. hubby just needs to get used to it
during a staff meeting, i take notes on what my boss is saying, BUT whenever i look down at my paper to write something, he stops talking. i admit that it's entertaining for me to listen to my boss interrupt himself whenever i look away: 'you will be putting --' LOOK DOWN, LOOK UP '-- the mailings together so --' LOOK DOWN, LOOK UP '-- that they get sent --' LOOK DOWN, LOOK UP '-- out on time.' hehe... (no, i don't do this to everyone; i just think my boss is a dork and doesn't appreciate me, so whatever... and yes, i know i need to get a new job -- SOON ENOUGH!)

;o)

Some More CI Moments

2005-02-25T09:51:00.000-05:00

this morning, i was putting on my gloves (thanks to the wonderful winter weather we're having) and heard my hands go "swissshhh" inside them. i'm not really sure how to describe the sound, but it was very distinct... i can't believe that hands slipping inside a leather glove make noise
before i got my CI, i used to have to put my cell phone on vibrate and keep it in my lap because i could never hear it while driving... well, now i can actually hear my phone ringing inside my purse! it's not on my lap, it's not next to me on the seat, it's IN MY PURSE -- and i can hear it
when i press the lock button on the remote for my car, i can hear the doors go "click" as they lock up... with my HAs, i used to have to look at the car and watch for the headlights/taillights blinking, which indicated that the doors were locked... NOW i can hear the clicking sound as i'm walking away from my car
i heard a plane in the sky this morning... and it's LOUD!

(it's only 10 am and i've already experience all these great CI moments... WOO-HOO!!!)

:o)

Believe it or not, but I've never met anyone with a cochlear implant.

2005-02-24T20:53:00.000-05:00

isn't that the oddest thing?

wouldn't it make more sense for me to know TONS of cochlear implant recipients before i decided to get the surgery myself?

this thought has been bugging the bejeeezus out of me for the last few weeks.

i need to meet a fellow "CI-er" soon!!!

:-O

FIRE! FIRE!

2005-02-24T20:07:00.000-05:00

this evening, my husband installed a smoke/CO2 detector in the hallway next to our kitchen. while i was making dinner, it FREAKED out and started blaring "FIRE! FIRE!" over and over again. no, there was no fire -- the detector was responding to dinner baking in the oven. i didn't realize it was that sensitive, but that's besides the point...

i was minding my own business, setting the table, when the "FIRE! FIRE!" startled me. ironically, my (left) implanted ear was fine because my processor is set on an autosensitivity program. it was my unimplanted ear that was hurting. mind you, the smoke detector's warning screech is supposedly 85db LOUD. my hearing loss (w/o my HA) is supposed to be at 100db. it amazes me i could hear the alarm going off without my hearing aid in my right ear... so much so that the sound actually hurt me.

my poor hubby was hurting, too -- and got to experience firsthand how "wonderful" tinnitus is!

:-P

Another CI Moment

2005-02-24T11:33:00.000-05:00

while deeply engrossed in a project at work, i wasn't paying attention to anything going on around me. my boss was in a different room -- across from my desk on the other side of the office -- when he called my name. i thought i heard someone say my name, but i honestly did not believe that i could really hear from that "far" away... so i ignored it and kept on working.

well, a few seconds went by and i heard my boss call my name again, so i looked up and sure enough, saw him coming towards me. i know my boss didn't realize what just happened (he's pretty clueless when it comes to my CI moments). because his voice is rather nasally and sounds a bit feminine, the fact that i DID hear him (from across the office) is a huge deal for me.

my only complaint about this is that i don't have "more important" people witnessing my CI moments. they are so special and fleeting and usually happen during the day while i'm at work. it's a shame that i can't share then with my friends or family more often. the most they can possibly get out of it is whatever they read in my blog -- and that's not enough in my opinion.

i wonder if anyone else shares a similar sentiment.....

:o(

Different Engines Make Different Sounds!

2005-02-23T10:23:00.000-05:00

it's funny how different an 8-cylinder car engine sounds compared to a 4-cylinder one. this is what i figured because it's logical, but i didn't expect to notice it so much!

the cars i am referring to are my husband's big-a$$ Oldsmobile Aurora versus my itty-bitty Ford Contour. i'm sure normal-hearing people are gonna say to themselves, "well, DUH! of course the engines sound different," but they can't even imagine how amazing the differences are to me.

wow... who would've thought something as non-girly as car engines would fascinate me!

Two Weeks Later

2005-02-21T00:22:00.000-05:00

i've been experiencing some more really cool CI moments the last couple of days:

i finally began using the TV/HiFi Cable -- this accessory connects my speech processor to A/C or D/C powered equipment (such as a television, stereo or computer) and has opened up a whole new world of sounds and voices and background noise for me
while watching Will & Grace, i heard the laugh track in the background for the first time EVER... yes, i used to hear laughter on comedy shows before, but it was never this distinct or annoying... i couldn't help but wonder: how can people enjoy watching t.v. with that incessant laughter in the background???
i have been able to "beat" the closed-captions on t.v. -- for example, a phone will ring or there is a knock at the door... well, in the past, i would have had to read the caption "phone ringing" or "knocking on door" and then i would know what was happening... NOW, i actually hear the sound before i read the captioning!
when i was changing the sheets on my bed, i heard the pillow case make a "swooshing" sound as i was pulling it over the pillow... CLOTH actually makes a sound!
while i was reading the menu at a very noisy (and very good) Chinese restaurant, my brother said my name to get my attention... thinking nothing of this, i looked up at him and saw this HUGE smile on his face... he was so surprised and said to me, 'You heard me!" it was a lovely moment between the 2 of us
while visiting some friends for a coffee/tea get-together, i heard the heat blowing, the radio playing, the phone ringing and was STILL able to make out what people were talking about... there was a lot of background noise in that apartment, but gosh darn it, i managed!

Minnie Mouse Madonna

2005-02-18T17:22:00.000-05:00

i used to be a huge fan of Madonna's music, but not anymore...

yesterday, while driving home from work, i decided to listen to a CD mix my hubby left in the car. the first (and only) song i enjoyed was Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" (from the movie Dangerous Minds). it's got a great beat to it (the bass is awesome) and i enjoy the lyrics.

then i started listening to Madonna's La Isla Bonita and couldn't help but CRINGE. her voice sounds nothing like the way i remember it from my childhood. a friend of mine made a good point the other day: my taste in music is probably going to change now that everything sounds so different with my CI. what if the music i always liked will actually sound BAD now? the idea of this is so sad... and Madonna is a case in point.

i wonder if anyone else with a CI has had this experience. it can't possibly be *that* unique!

Scary ShopRite Silence

2005-02-18T16:30:00.000-05:00

i went grocery shopping on Wednesday evening after work. while walking through the produce section, my bwp emitted its low-battery-warning beeps and then -- SILENCE. since i left my purse in my car (i only had my wallet on me), i couldn't change my batteries. walking through the supermarket in complete silence was terrifying.

i did my best to avoid people so that i wouldn't have to talk to anyone. i even went to the self-check-out register so i could do everything without anyone's help. at one point, the computer was malfunctioning (something about me not weighing the bananas before bagging them) and i FREAKED. i did *not* want to talk to people! fortunately, i was able to resolve the banana-bagging error and left the silence of the store as quickly as i could. how pathetic of me to feel this helpless.

considering i have been HOH all my life, it's ironic that this has never happened to me. i always had my HAs on in the past and was given plenty of warning ahead of time to change the batteries before they went completely dead. besides, since i wore 2 HAs, i could always flip the batteries because they never died at the same time. for some reason, my processor beeps only once and then the batteries die -- within a few seconds.

i gotta find out from my audiologist if there is some way to increase the time frame between "batteries running low" and "complete deafness" because it was NOT a fun experience.

'Based on today's findings, results suggest that Linda is receiving excellent benefit from her implant...'

2005-02-16T11:43:00.000-05:00

for those of you who follow this sort of thing, here are the Audiological Results from my first two mappings:

"T" and "C" levels were obtained and three MAPs were created. Two MAPs were Ace MAPS and one MAP was a Speak MAP. Electrode #13 was disenabled in the Speak MAP as the patient reported discomfort. Testing in sound field with the Ace MAP revealed thresholds of 30 dB at 500 Hz and 4000 Hz, 25 dB at 1000 Hz, 35 dB at 2000 Hz and 3000 Hz, and 40 dB at 6000 Hz. CID sentenses obtained at 55 dB in sound field using a CD withouth visual cues revealed scores of 86% for the Ace MAP and 52% for the Speak MAP.

to the untrained eye (like mine), this all looks like gibberish... but i think it is safe to assume that 86 percent on any test is a good result!

Thank you, Bob Marley!

2005-02-16T10:30:00.000-05:00

after my whining yesterday about how i miss music and how sad i am because it doesn't sound the way i remember it with my HAs, i decided to just "F*** IT!" (pardon my French) and turn on the radio on my way to work this morning.....

i put on a Bob Marley CD and was prepared to hear nothing but noise and squeakiness and tinny distortions, but nooo... i heard MUSIC and it was wonderful!

i cranked the bass up all way so i could really feel the beat of "Is This Love?" (my tinnitus is worse now because of it, but it was SO worth it). when "No Woman, No Cry" came on (which happens to be "our song" for me and hubby), i actually got tears in my eyes... it sounded *that* amazing.

i must admit that Bob Marley's voice did sound a bit like he inhaled too much helium, but it was definitely better than any female singer i've heard so far.

who would've thought that my FIRST positive musical experience would involve Reggae!

One Week and A Day Post-Activation

2005-02-15T23:45:00.000-05:00

here are some additional CI moments i've been experiencing the last few days:

my husband's voice actually started to sound "normal" -- the way i remembered it with my HAs... this is sooo nice!
i use an e-mail program called Incredimail that says "WELCOME!" when you open it... well, i never heard/understood what the voice was saying until a couple of days ago and it *shocked* the heck out of me
when i heard myself sneeze for the first time, i giggled... nobody ever told me how cute i sound... hehe
i finally used the telephone at work today and am having a BLAST with it!!! i hooked up the adapter to the phone and then to my processor and it sounds incredible... i don't remember hearing so clearly on the phone before with my HAs and am absolutely ecstatic... too bad my boss/co-workers don't realize how huuuge of a deal it is for me, but what do they know... HMPH.
i actually OVERHEAD bits and pieces of a conversation someone was having at work without even trying to listen... this is such a new phenomenon for me -- i am not used to eavesdropping at all! the few things i picked up were, 'did you eat your breakfast yet?' and 'it's a cloudy day today.' these aren't exactly earth-shattering statements, but wow... i heard them!
the pouring rain is reeeally distracting -- it seems as if i am listening to each individual rain drop hitting the roof of my car... rain DOES go "pitter-patter" outside... how cool is that?
i was having a conversation with my boss (about my CI) and thought we were done talking, so i started walking away and heard him say 'that's great' AFTER i left the room... he must think i'm really rude, but i honestly didn't realize he wasn't finished talking to me... ooopsie
while washing dishes, i heard a "clink-clinkety-clinking" sound and didn't know where it was coming from -- well, it was the metal zipper-end from my sweater tapping against the granite countertop as i was leaning over the sink... what a lovely sound!

i don't mean to be a wet rag (is that the term?), but here are some "complaints" i have:

the tinnitus in my head hasn't gotten any quieter... i wonder if it will ever go away... am i actually going to have to get used to this? EEEK!
i miss the way music sounds -- i know better than to expect my favorite band or musician to sound as beautiful as they used to before i lost my hearing, but still... i'm sad
my friend's voice used to sound so soft and feminine, but now it's all sorts of squeaky and whispery -- oh, well... with time it will get better, i know!

:o)

More CI Moments

2005-02-12T00:15:00.000-05:00

well, it's obviously not as exciting as it was the first couple of days, but each day gets better and better...

i spent the day with my mother today and noticed that her voice was starting to sound more normal, like it used to with my HA's -- this was a pleasant relief
while at my parents' house, i was cuddling with Grey, one of their cats (he used to be my baby until i moved out)... well, i heard him purring!
i heard my cell phone ringing in the living room while i was in the bedroom... granted, our apartment is tiny, but this such a new thing for me -- and even though i don't actually *answer* my cell phone (unless it's my husband, brother or parents), i still love hearing it ring!
i can hear people IM me when i am online; it's great not missing messages from my friends anymore
i can understand more and more of what my husband is saying when i am not looking at him... being able to communicate without having to speechread all the time is saving both of us SO MUCH time, effort and frustration
the dishwasher makes a rather disturbing sound, which makes me feel sorry for our downstairs neighbors (but only a little because they're mean people to begin with... hehe)

i guess that's it, then..... so here's to another great sound-filled day!

Part of the hearing world again... little by little

2005-02-10T23:30:00.000-05:00

it is has been 3 days since my initial activation and one day since my 2nd mapping session and things are sooo much better... or better yet, things SOUND so much better. my biggest complaint by far is the tinnitus i keep hearing. it's a constant buzzing sound inside my head that will *not* go away. what's even worse is that it actually becomes louder when i turn my processor off. UGH. i am told that in time the tinnitus will go away, but who knows... it's still pretty annoying.

before i get into any of the fun details of what my CI has enabled me to hear, i wanted to clarify a few things. putting up an online journal has it's advantages and disadvantages -- it's great being able to share my thoughts and feelings with everyone because the support has been tremendous; on the other hand, i feel silly when i find out that i've "messed up" with the details in my previous postings.

first, i found out that "Sally" is actually Sara and that she isn't in training. she is a seasoned audiologist, just like Judy (who works with me) and Kathleen are. all 3 of them have been extremely helpful during my hook-up and mapping sessions and i am grateful for their guidance. second, when my C-levels (comfort) are set, i'm not supposed to push myself to see 'how loud i could handle the beeping.' i'm supposed to let the beeps be loud, but comfortable... not 'barely tolerable.' i realized this "mistake" after my second mapping -- louder sounds lost their shrill, squeaky quality. it definitely makes a difference. third, i forgot to mention the run-through test of my implant before it gets turned on -- after the C and T levels are set, Judy does a check of all the electrodes by "sweeping" through them. this way, i can tell her if the loudness is the same for each one or if any need to be adjusted.

now, back to my CI..... even though everyone says 'it will get better... just give it time... wait and see...' it's hard to imagine your hearing *changing* on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. now that some time has passed since i was first hooked-up and i'm already trying out a 4th program on my SPrint bwp (body worn processor), i am absolutely AMAZED at how different everything is.

i have noticed sounds i NEVER heard before with my HA's (hearing aids). everything is much clearer, crisper, and more distinct. even the simplest sounds have taken on new characteristics. certain noises even shock me after i realize what they are or where they're coming from. my husband is having a great time with it because he's around to witness my "CI moments" every day.

because i LOVE writing (as people can see after reading my posts), i have been keeping a journal of all my hearing experiences. since i am just plain tuckered out and do not have much in me to compose another lengthy novel, i figured i would keep things simple (yeah, right) by making a list of my CI moments.

i have listed the sounds pretty much in the order that i *first* heard/noticed/became aware of them:

FIRST DAY

my shoes went clickety-clack against the tile floor -- they were LOUD and annoying
when i went to pee, it was the cutest sound ever -- like tinkling bells or giggling fairies... very adorable!
toilet flushing was AWFUL -- howling hyenas
i decided to be brave/stupid by calling my brother on my cell phone... and i understood (almost) everything he said... he did have to repeat himself and slow down quite a bit, but i did comprehend what he was saying to me -- THIS was very surprising, obviously
my husband scratching his leg in the car -- he was wearing jeans and i actually heard the scratching sound his nails made against the denim
the brakes squeaking on our car -- no wonder hubby wants to get them fixed!
clinking of metal utensils on a glass plate -- a very pretty tinkling sound
while driving home IN THE DARK, without reading my husband's lips, i was able to pick up a *lot* of what he was telling me... including his giggling because he was so excited
overheard a friend's boyfriend say "egg drop soup" when he was reading a Chinese take-out menu... normally, this would not be a big deal, but i wasn't looking at him AND i was sitting on the other side of the room!
the blinking of the turn signal, while driving in traffic... i used to hear this with my HA's, but not *while* driving (the roar of the road was too loud)
my keyboard clacking really loudly as i typed at my computer - WOW
the fan inside my computer was blowing at full blast... sounded like it was going to explode!

2nd DAY

paper and plastic bags sound really, really, really loud and obnoxious... even the rustling of a TISSUE gets to me -- it's incredible
while driving to work the morning after my hook-up, i heard a very quiet "click... click... click-click... click" sound -- when i finally figured out what it was, i almost died -- i actually heard my KEYCHAIN dangling from the ignition, making a clutter-y sound
i can hear myself breathing -- this is just plain WEIRD
the fan in the bathroom at work sounds *ominously* loud -- i have to turn off my processor when i go in there because it hurts my ear
the "swoop-swoop-swoop" sound of my printer cartridge going back and forth when my printer is spitting out a document -- this sound is distracting
when eating a granola bar for breakfast (Special K - yum!) i heard myself chewing -- this is unusual, too because i am *not* used to it

(side note ~ i wonder: HOW DO YOU NORMAL-HEARING PEOPLE PUT UP WITH ALL THIS NOISE!?!???)

the water faucet produces an unusual "shreeeeechy" sound -- not pleasant at ALL
when a co-worker of mine laughed, i swear i heard the Crypt Keeper cackling (from HBO's "Tales from the Crypt") -- what a frightening sound
i heard my co-workers talking to each other while i was working at the opposite end of the office -- even though i did not understand what they were saying, i heard them talking and that is just so cool!
when another co-worker of mine was shaking a paper packet of instant oatmeal, i thought i heard someone sawing a piece of wood -- very odd
i noticed my male boss was talking to me a little strangely (he sounds like a woman, from what i remember with my HA's) -- well, he was actually whispering for fear of talking too loud and i could tell, so i told him to talk normally because that will help me
the key-pad on the copy machine at work actually BEEPS!
while watching TV during my lunch break, i noticed that female voices sound raspy/whispery - sort of like "bedroom talk" - while male voices sound robotic and a bit "Mickey-Mouse-ish" still
the cleaning crew came to our work and had to use the vacuum cleaner... this is BY FAR the most *horrendous* and *painful* sound ever!!!
the Recycle Bin on my desktop on my home computer actually makes a "WHOOSH!" sound... like garbage emptying -- this is really neat
when hubby came home from work, i heard him ring the door bell... i jumped up and down when i could tell he was home

DAY THREE -- after 2nd mapping session

(i experienced a lot of the same sounds, but with more distinction and clarity... voices were especially less mechanical and tinny... this was a relief)

heard my dress-pants make a "swish swish swish" sound when i was walking
the space-heater at my work makes a really neat whirring sound, but gets distracting after a while (just like the printer)
at the drug store -- while talking to the pharmacist, her back was turned (so i couldn't read her lips), but i heard her say, 'I'll be right with you...' -- WOW!
when grocery shopping, heard the Self-Check-Out machine say, "Don't forget to take your receipt." -- i almost started giggling right there in the store!
i finally heard my microwave and oven timer beeping... no burned dinner, yay!
while i was in the kitchen, talking to my hubby, he was in the bedroom -- i heard his responses, but he didn't hear mine and had to actually come out and ask me to repeat myself -- we were both SOOO thrilled about this
talked to both of my parents on mycell phone and understood almost everything they said!

DAY FOUR

(a lot of this stuff gets repeated, so i'll just list the last few really interesting sounds i heard)

the battery-warning beep on my speech processor -- now i know it takes about 4 days for the two AA batteries to die... not bad, i guess?
while driving home from work, my car went over a manhole cover and i heard it go "clunkety-clunk" -- what a funny sound
my own voice sounds much better, as do others' voices -- men are more "macho" and women less squeaky, but still whispery

i'm sure a lot of these sounds will change as i become more accustomed to the new programs in my processor. i will try coming back here to update every so often when things get interesting. in the meantime, this is pretty much the way it's been the last few days... and I AM LOVING IT!!!

:o)

(The Day After) Hook-Up Day

2005-02-08T23:30:00.000-05:00

hook-up day was quite the day, to say the least! when my husband and i showed up at my audiologist's office, another woman working there (i can't remember her name, so we'll call her "Sally") asked me if she could observe. i assumed she was in training or whatever so i say i don't mind if she joins us. now it's hubby, my audiologist, Judy, and "Sally" watching...

the first thing Judy tells me is to take off my right hearing aid (from my unimplanted ear). then she makes me promise not to wear it while i'm getting used to my CI. i was expecting this, but still ask how long i would have to go without it. Judy tells me maybe 2 weeks... it all depends. she says, 'if you don't wear your hearing aid and just practice hearing with your CI, you will make both our lives easier.' i get it... and am prepared (or so i think).

the next thing Judy does is plug the speech processor into her computer so she can hook it up to the programming software. the magnet is attached to my head and the microphone is looped over my ear. then Judy starts programming the first map, which is determined by setting each of the 22 electrodes inside my cochlea. first, she tests the T-levels (threshold) to be loud enough for me to be aware of a sound... and then she tests the C-levels (comfort) so the sound is not too loud as to cause discomfort.

as Judy goes through the T-levels it takes a while b/c my tinnitus is acting up and i am having trouble distinguishing between the beeps from the computer and the beeping in my head. the mapping for the C-levels seems to go by much easier. it was even fun testing how loud i could handle the beeping! even though the tinnitus is annoying, i think i manage just fine. i must mention that during this whole process, i can't hear a THING (except for all beeping), so being able to lip-read Judy is a relief!

as soon as Judy is finished with the map, she says to me, 'okay, i'm going to turn you on now.' earlier, before we started, Sally told me she was amazed at how calm i looked. i explained to her, 'i know what to expect because i've done so much reading and research about it.' she was still surprised that i wasn't more nervous. i then said to her, 'it's all a mask... i'm freaking out inside, actually.' maybe my calm demeanor came from the fact that i thought i knew what to expect, but i definitely was NOT prepared for what i heard when Judy switched the processor on...

it was SOOO squeaky and "squeal-ey" and uncomfortable! i was taken aback at how AWFUL everything sounded. i looked at Judy and simply said, 'I DON'T LIKE IT.' she looked so heartbroken, IMO. i know she wasn't taking it personally, but my reaction was obviously not pleasant. i asked for a tissue and then the tears started to fall. i was crying and crying because i just couldn't STAND the horrible noises i was hearing. my poor husband was holding my hand and telling me something to calm me down, but i obviously wasn't making any sense of it. even the man i married sounded absolutely dreadful...

well, it took me a few moments to realize that the *ghastly* squeaky sounds i was hearing were actually VOICES. Judy and Kathleen (another audiologist who came to observe the "moment of truth") were talking to me... and it sounded TERRIBLE. i honestly hated it. even though i *knew* i wasn't supposed to expect people's voices to sound natural, i definitely didn't expect them to be so DISTURBING! the best way to describe the way everyone sounded was like "Mickey Mouse on speed." i can't think of anything worse than that...it really was NOT a fun sensation.

even though i didn't have my hopes up (or at least i don't think i did), i was not expecting to DISLIKE the sounds i was hearing. i even hated the sound of my OWN voice. imagine hearing yourself talking as if you inhaled too much helium. THAT is what i sounded like to myself. granted, at least i *was* hearing things, even if i didn't necessarily enjoy them, but what made the initial turn-on even more traumatic was the tinnitus. i told Judy that i kept hearing an incessant squealing sound that would not go away. i heard this squealing *on top of* all the squeaky Mickey Mouse voices... it was just icky. well, when Judy turned off the processor to adjust the map, i STILL heard the squealing. Kathleen explained to me that it was my tinnitus i was hearing, and not any other noise from the outside. i was *not* happy about this at all.

well, after i calmed down and let the sound 'wash over me like a wave' (Kathleen's words), i eventually stopped crying. having my husband there with me also helped me calm down. little by little, i was starting to make out some words being said. i did not understand specific words at first, but could discern speech. then Kathleen stood behind me and started talking about the scab on my head from the incision (it hasn't fallen off yet and is really gross). i actually understood Kathleen saying, 'blah blah blah... scab fell off... blah blah blah' and i was SO surprised! even Judy's eyes popped out of her head. i guess that's a good thing, huh?

as i type this, i am at the end of my 2nd day wearing the processor and things are MUCH better. i don't want to skip too far ahead by saying that other voices sound better and that my own voice isn't as awful, either. there is *so much* i am still absorbing... so much i'm still figuring out... so much i am still trying to make sense of... and the adventure has JUST started! at least sounds are making more sense to me today than they did yesterday, so i feel much better.

i'll keep posting more 'CI moments' on here, but right now, it's just TOO overwhelming to include it all in one entry. my ear is very tired - as it should be from a long day of listening - so i must go to sleep...

g'night all!

~Linda

A mini-biography, so to speak...

2005-02-04T10:00:00.000-05:00

On January 4th, I underwent surgery for the Nucleus® 24 Contour™ cochlear implant… and I am *sooo* excited and nervous and scared and curious and everything all at the same time! I'm not sure where to start, so I'll just get the basics out of the way…

I am 27 years old and have been hard of hearing my whole life. My parents first discovered my hearing loss when I was about 3 years old – and that's when I was fitted with hearing aids. Nobody has ever been able to tell me how/why I lost my hearing, although there are two theories: (1) my mother was exposed to Rubella (German Measles) when she was pregnant with me; (2) I had a violent reaction to a smallpox vaccine I received when I was still a baby (these were routinely given out until 1978 in the former Czechoslovakia, where I was born). Regardless of what the cause of my hearing loss is, it's irrelevant now.

My family immigrated to the United States in 1983 when I was 6 years old and that is when I was "officially" diagnosed with sensorineural hearing loss in both ears. As time went on, my hearing loss progressed, but fortunately, I was able to function pretty well with hearing aids. I was mainstreamed all through grammar, middle and high school. I used my HA's and an FM System to get by. I graduated college (The College of New Jersey) with a B.A. in psychology and finished graduate school (Montclair State University) with an M.A. in counseling. I received both degrees with an ‘A’ average! This is something I'm *very* proud of, considering the circumstances.

Now I work for a center for independent living helping people with disabilities obtain services through the ADA. It is a good agency to work for, but ironically, it is not something I want to spend the rest of my life doing. I was planning to go back to school to become licensed as a mental health counselor, but circumstances beyond my control put a damper on those plans… temporarily.

On October 2nd, while my husband and I were at a friend's wedding, I lost almost all the hearing in my left ear. First, I heard an awful ringing sound that would not go away (tinnitus) and then BAM! Nothing. This all happened in the span of a weekend… and to my "good" ear, no less. Initially, I believed that my hearing aid had malfunctioned and that it was fixable. Well, that was not the case. An otolaryngologist's check-up confirmed the worst: I had suffered sudden onset hearing loss in my left ear for no known reason -- from 95db to 105db (my right ear remains at about 100db).

Naturally, I was DEVASTATED... and not prepared to hear the doctor say the words, "Have you ever considered getting a cochlear implant?" First, I barely heard him, but thanks to my speechreading skills (which I have relied on my whole life), I understood what he was saying. Second, I am ashamed to admit that the idea of a cochlear implant had never occurred to me. I couldn't even imagine being "one of those CI people." It was a narrow-minded way of thinking, I realize that now, but that was my attitude up until that point.

Fast-forward 3 months later -- after much research and studying -- I am proud and excited to be a Nucleus® 24 Contour cochlear implant recipient. My surgery was performed at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, New Jersey by Dr. Laura Downey -- a *WONDERFUL* woman. The hospital stay was something else, to say the least. My staples were removed less than a week later (8 of them), but it wasn't too bad. The worst part of the surgery's after-effects was the dizziness -- imagine feeling drunk without any alcohol. Also, the left side of my tongue went numb. Food has a “slimy” feel to it because I can’t really taste with half my tongue, but that is supposed to go away eventually. The aching, throbbing pain at the incision site was no fun, either. Tylenol with Codeine was my best friend for about a week after surgery. Now that a scab has formed, the incision site really itches, so I’m anxious for it to fall off and finally heal.

Fortunately, my whole family (mother, father, younger brother) and husband of 2 years (the day of the surgery was our anniversary!) have been extremely supportive. Even my friends surprised me with their well wishes and enthusiasm - both during and after the whole ordeal. While I was home recuperating, I took the time to put together a web site with pictures and informative links so that everyone could see what I was going through. It is located here: Linda's Cochlear Implant

Now I am anxiously waiting for my hook-up date -- February 7th!!! I have so many questions and so many fears and so many hopes, I don't even know how to put them to words. On February 2nd, I met with my audiologist (Judy, another wonderful woman), who gave me the "CI orientation" and even allowed me to take my SPRint™ processor home (not turned on, of course) so I can get used to wearing it. I've had it on every day since then and think it is SOOO cool! The magnet does not feel weird at all (like I thought it would), but the body-worn "box" is a bit cumbersome. Although I am getting used to it, I can't wait to start wearing the ESPrit 3G BTE processor (I’ll get that 2 days after my initial hook-up).

I have not met anyone in person with a cochlear implant (yet), but have been reading a wonderful book to help me become better acquainted with the new journey I am about to embark on. This book is called Bridge to Sound with a 'Bionic' Ear by Cynthia Farley. I highly recommend it to *anyone* who has any questions whatsoever about cochlear implants.

I guess that is my story. I hope I didn't babble too much, or sound too wimpy, but I know everyone's experience is different. Allowing myself to be a little more dramatic than usual is helping me deal with everything in a better way. It also feels good to be able to share this story with others in hopes that they will be able to make a better decision about whether or not to get a CI themselves. For those that still aren't sure, I say, "GO FOR IT!"